OK, quiz time! What the hell is Cinco de Mayo. Yes, it means “Fifth of May”. But what does it stand for? Give up? You don’t know why you’re about to swim in pitchers of frozen margaritas and flauta and chimichanga platters tomorrow? Wear a stupid sombrero and attend some loud fiesta?
Well, most Americans could care less about this so-called holiday. No, it isn’t Mexican Independence Day. No, that’s in mid-September and that one is a huge day down south. Cinco de Mayo commemorates a very bloody battle in which a group of plucky troops defeated a much better-armed French army in 1862 in the Battle of Puebla, and this event eventually led to the surrender of French troops under Emperor Maximilian and his wife Carlota –and then leave Mexico for good. Yeah, I know: let’s do another tequila shot or lick it off that girl’s belly button. Who cares, right?
We Americans love parties and we look at this day as just another excuse to eat a lot and get hammered –and,really, who doesn’t love gooey, fatty, cheese-laden Mexican food. Wait, you didn’t know there is no such thing as a chimichanga or burrito in Mexico? Yeah, yeah, who cares?
So as you contemplate all the festivities you could partake in on this day, you could probably check out the deal at Del Taco, the other kinda crappy Mexican food joint all over the US. The California-based taco chain (it used to be called “Casa del Taco”) is offering a deal that you really can’t beat. Free food. But wait –there is a hitch to all this.
First you must know that Del Taco is promoting their new “Asada Burritos”, which means, I think, “carne asada”, or grilled beef. That either means they are weaning themselves (and us) off the gristly homely ground beef that they and that other taco chain uses. They want to convince us that all beef steaks –or whatever the whole slab is called—is better. So with the asada burritos, they are also making “Asada Tacos”. And they’re giving these away tomorrow. (OK quick lesson –but you know this: tacos are made with corn tortillas and are smaller; burritos are filled with meat, beans and rice plus other unnecessary gloppy fillings and can be as big as your arm.)
OK, here is what you do. Go to Del Taco’s Facebook page and you indicate that you “Like” the page and you will be able to nab a coupon entitling you to a free asada taco. Oh wait, hold on. You still need to buy a beverage first before you get the taco. Damn you, Del Taco. OK, so it’s something to wash all that food with.