Ah! The sugar! Ah! The saturated fat! The buttercream! Oh, wait, let me start over. Next Tuesday all Americans have a moral and civic duty to fulfill, by going over to their local polling places and marking their ballots for what is possibly the most important election of their lifetimes. Two candidates, Barack Obama and John McCain. Numerous Senate races all over this great land. Important statewide propositions, including here in California. You all –we all—have to do our part to get out the vote and, from what pundits are predicting, the turnout will be heavy, so get there early. Already voted by mail? Awesome. Well, this kinda applies to you too.
Both Krispy Kreme and Ben & Jerry’s have a little treat for you on Tuesday. Free donuts. Free ice cream. In a just-announced promotion that not only Homer Simpson would love, all voters are eligible to receive a free donut and a free single-scoop ice cream come Election Day. Check out the frosty donut with the red, white and blue sprinkles. It’s yours all day at KK. Can’t find the nearest one? Here’s the locator. All you have to do is show your nifty “I Voted” sticker that you get at the polling place. I suppose they’ll take any proof –you know, a voting stub—and you can get your warm donut. Tip: You really want ‘em fresh? Make sure when you pull up to the drive-thru that the “Hot Doughnuts” sign is lit. Now go.
According to Krispy Kreme, they’re just doing their part to be patriotic and dole out a little reward on this most important of occasions:
“We can’t guarantee that your candidate of preference will win on November 4, but we can guarantee that your right to voice your choice will be rewarded with a patriotic doughnut that will remind you just how tasty freedom really is. Krispy Kreme encourages everyone to take part in this historical election and vote.”
Oh, and they’d probably love it too if you took back a couple of boxes to your co-workers, too. Hard to say no to those glazed grease bombs as they’re rolling off the conveyor belts just before they get slathered in all that sugary glaze……MMMM…..OK, this is fast becoming a “Simpsons” episode.
Over at Ben & Jerry’s, they have gotten a little more careful. See, unlike Krispy Kreme, they got the memo that informed them that you really can’t ply people with treats to get them to vote. As their PR says, “Originally, we planned to give free scoops away just to those who voted. We found out afterwards that certain laws may not allow it. So instead we’re celebrating our election with a national party.” So the good folks at Ben & Jerry’s, a wonderful, progressive company that probably hopes for a huge Election Day turnout, wants everyone to enjoy their treats (make mine an American Pie or, if you can find it, a Pumpkin Cheesecake) without singling anyone out. Add their rep: “Even though we’re giving scoops away to everyone, regardless of whether they vote or not, we hope they still take part in their civic duty.” Awesome. They’re a patriotic company too. Want to find the nearest one, too?
HERE ya go.
Now, dammit, you have your donut. You have your free scoop. Now, please, get out and vote!