Smash TV: Big Brother 10 Week 6

Friday, August 22nd, 2008 | SMASH TV with

Big Brother 10

April has been banished. One of the most vain, needy, self-centered contestants of any BB season was tossed out in a 6-0 vote. It wasn’t hard to achieve. She had simply revolted too many people and yet could not understand why –in her chat with sex partner/showmance partner Ollie—anyone would not like her enough to boot off. That’s how deep April was. The bleach blonde finance manager (at a car dealership) from Arizona who came on strong at the beginning, who formed alliances, then ruined them, then isolated herself altogether, really had no allies by the end. Perhaps she had Michelle’s sympathy, if not vote, and that’s only because she was the only woman left who spoke to her. April tried to get Dan’s vote and even hinted she’d give him money she won weeks ago, but Dan deftly exposed the fact that someone offered him money (it could have been Jerry, the other person on the block) for his vote. In the end he didn’t use the POV and created a little excitement in the run up to last night’s unanimous vote. For the third week now, Dan becomes the unlikely wild card vote.  Other developments this week:

·        Renny was the HOH this past week. She fell apart emotionally when she entered her room, festooned with photos of her kids and husband but also, inexplicably, of her late parents. I don’t know why CBS labored so long on this, since it created kind of a creepy, what-do-I-say now?-moment. Eventually Renny regained composure and became quite the confident, authoritative figure, albeit dressed in her pink boas and dishing out attitude to vassals like Dan, who wanted to know why she hadn’t put up April and Ollie, instead of old Jerry. That would have at least guaranteed that the coital duo would be separated, no matter that Dan didn’t get the answer he wanted.

·        Renny clearly wanted either Jerry (or “The Colonel”) or April out just because she couldn’t stand either of them. As best buds with Keesha and because Keesha harbors catty hatred for the plastic April, it’s all Renny could do to go after someone who was, admittedly, a pretty fierce competitor. The fact that April jumped around so much with different alliances and then manipulated others made her all that more undesirable and dangerous. That April didn’t see this is only proof of her shortsightedness and vanity.

·        So the sex is over. The non-stop, possibly unprotected sex-a-thon between April and preacher-son Ollie will have to end. April suggested in her post-eviction interview with Chenbot that the “showmance” was designed to isolate themselves from the others, which also begs the question of whether this was even real or not. Or let me put it this way: April seems to have sexed Ollie up purely for selfish reasons. When he said to April that she is the one person he “connected” with, you wonder whether this was just him pressing against, well…. She also wanted his, uh, support and, as evidenced many times, she had him do her dirty work –i.e., go out to other houseguests and plead her case so she wouldn’t be tossed out. That failed miserably and now Ollie will have to rely on his right hand for the first time in 54 days now. For those sexy halcyon days of these two lovebirds, here is a reminder.

·        So how can we tell that Ollie is i for the biggest heartbreak of his life? You mean you believe there really is a romance? On last night’s show, CBS went to both April’s family’s home in Arizona and Ollie’s father’s church in Des Moines, and boy, what a contrast. Supposedly they were asked about the “showmance” between the two. Ollie’s father couldn’t even pronounce the word, so he kind of ducked the question, saying instead that as a 27-year-old, Ollie was a responsible man who makes his own decisions. Ollie’s Mama just smiled pleasantly, almost in complete denial that her son 1) is not using birth control (“You need to pull out!”, as April famously said); 2) has rocks in his lazy head; 3) is being used by the selfish purposes of April; 4) likes the doggy position and, yikes, 5) has been messin’ with a white girl. Maybe not what a fine preacher family had in mind. Then again you wonder if Ollie’s Daddy meant it when he said that, if this April mess was true, then this was his “first” girlfriend. I think there are a lot of messes that Ollie has been involved in.

·        Over at the April compound in Arizona, a lot of blond people were watching the sexual shenanigans of April and Ollie on the big plasma screen –were comparatively queasy when Ollie cooed such lines as “Will you be my girlfriend?” and the always panic-inducing “Will you marry me?”. We got to meet April’s twin sister who visibly twitched when she saw this. All this talk about Ollie moving to Arizona sounded good, but I wonder what would happen how the WASPY, tanned, highlighted April compound will react when the likes of Ollie, the Black dude from Iowa and cap on backwards, came a knockin’ and say he was looking to do more knockin’ of April after all this BB thing is over. I say they won’t answer the door, even if by some miracle Ollie were to win the $500,000.

·        Back at the house, is it me or are Memphis and Keesha (maybe less so) getting a little fleshier? Eat, sleep, hang around, eat, and eat? Memphis is sporting the double chin for sure and Keesha’s booty is draggin a bit, if I may be honest. Since Jessie left, I don’t see any of the males even picking up a barbell or doing any walking around the house. Even Michelle, the supposed former star volleyball player, seems content to lie around like a sloth, but thankfully not with that red unitard and white heels she was forced to wear last week. In the meantime, Renny is probably right to say that Memphis is playing a quiet, shrewd game behind the scenes. He has been put up on the block twice and he still remains.

·        It appears that Jerry really is a big pain in the ass. It was no accident that he was put up this week. He is ornery and brutish –well, just as a cranky, former Marine old coot would be, I suppose. It may be hard to “hang” with the guy but he is also just unpleasant. This week witnessed his true comeuppance when he was reduced to grovel to Dan, the “Judas” in his “house” last week, when Dan had a chance to take him off the block with the POV. Dan didn’t gloat about it. Then again, Jerry was really never the main target. April was. Below, a reminder of what a classy guy Jerry still is, calling Dan a “mother-f****** c**** s******” one day and this week, somehow apologizing for this behavior.

·        Jerry death watch: Subject does not seem to be near any kind of stroke or circulatory meltdown, even with high Southern California temperatures. He is still a man who has one (and only one) red Marines t-shirt, red cap and shorts. He still has this obnoxious croaky voice. Yet at the end of the last episode, in the new HOH challenge, CBS may seem hell bent on killing him. The brains behind the challenges decided to do another physical challenge in which the houseguests have to hang on a thick, probably-plastic vine. The one who is left wins HOH. This being crass BB, of course there has to be more than simply hanging. Rain falls. The vines are thrust forward, the houseguests trying to hold on. Then, at least a few times, the vines are then thrown back on to a canvas where there is a phony jungle wall. Thrown back as in possibly breaking the brittle bones of a 75-year-old. A toss so strong that, even if he falls, could conceivably injure him. Does CBS care? No.

·        Late word is that Dan outlasted Ollie in the HOH challenge. This despite some deal making that didn’t go anywhere. Dan as HOH should have a settle-scoring week. My fearless prediction is that he will put up Jerry and Ollie. Then again, the houseguests do not know that next Thursday there will be a double eviction. Presumably, after the first ouster, they will have to quickly regroup and kick out someone else. Sounds like this thing is winding down soon.

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